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url: http://www.madhouse.me.uk/
title: Escapades of the Mad House

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• <H1> Escapades of the Mad House
• <H2> Wednesday, 8 March 2017
• <H3> What happens next?
• <H3> Act of kindness
• <H2> Sunday, 12 February 2017
• <H2> Wednesday, 25 January 2017
• <H2> Saturday, 24 December 2016
• <H3> Tears Abound - Round 5
• <H2> Wednesday, 7 December 2016
• <H3> Embrace the help that a Counsellor can provide.
• <H2> Historically, my Dad is a stickler for details when it comes to his administration.  As I am someone he considers to be reliable, sensible and equitable, then it seems natural that I would take on a primary role in managing his affairs.  I was shocked, hurt, crushed, but not surprised when he recently suggested that "we" should make alternative arrangements; a "backup plan" so to speak, in case we both died about the same time.
• <H2> Now this is a very private conversation that I am sharing, but so important in many ways.  I am a parent and I can't imagine having this conversation with my child.  I deeply respect him for having the guts to do so.  It must have been one of the hardest tasks a parent could undertake.  I am also very practical and understand, in fact strongly agree with his proposition and with a different hat on, would recommend the backup plan.
• <H2> To say that I was shocked, hurt, crushed, doesn't really describe how it felt to hear those words.  "Devastated" in the Oxford Dictionary is to cause someone severe and overwhelming shock.  These are some of the synonyms they list:
• <H2> shatter, stun, daze, dumbfound, overwhelm, distress.  
• <H2> They all fit, but what I felt was a knife to my heart that stopped me in my tracks.  Now it sounds rather melodramatic and I could reason that out, but not the "why" I felt that way.  This is where the session with the counsellor from the Wessex Cancer Trust helped.  
• <H2> This is the point of my blabbering - even though I had no desire to go to the counsellor, it was recommended and I went with an open mind.  But on the day of my session, my Dad had spoken to me a few days beforehand, so I was armed with "something to talk about".  
• <H2> Talking about the conversation with a total stranger, with whom, it was her job to listen; therefore, I felt no guilt at emptying my emotions.  No advice was given, I wasn't looking for a solution.  But saying the words, without feeling like I was burdening someone, was cathartic and I came to the reason why I felt like my heart had been gripped and twisted.  
• <H2> My Daddy didn't believe that I was going to kick this cancer, if you can't rely on your Dad's blind belief, even in the face of massive odds against you, then what hope is there?  Now I know, I have fair odds for the 5 year outcome and pretty good for the 10 year scenario; but in my reality I'm going to be around to babysit my grandchildren, teach them how to ski and nag them about their posture.  
• <H2> Once I told my Dad how I felt, I got my blind belief, all was good and we hugged.  I could have got to the realisation without the counsellor, but by virtue of just being in the session and talking to this stranger, it facilitated the emotions and mind to get to where it needed to be in the moment.  So I strongly recommend a counsellor to "facilitate" rather than to give you a solution.  Only you can find the route that's right for you.
• <H3> Time for yourself
• <H2> Blog Archive
• <H2> Contributors

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